Peter’s Predicament – Part 3

So he decided to be honest.

“Yes, I am married,” he said, his defeat nearly sounding through his tone. “And we have one son,” he added, looking out for Lisa’s reaction.
Lisa didn’t flinch, as if she already knew.
“Ah that’s great! How old is he?” she asked excitedly. The usual question that follows when one mentions their offspring. The usual tone that people use to pretend that they are as excited about your children as you.
“William is now 13,” he answered, offering no additional information.
“Oh wow! Entering his teenage years. I hope he is not too much trouble at the moment,” she said, both her voice and her facial expressions animated and excited.
“Ah no no, he is great. He has a soft spot for his mother so I don’t anticipate any issues any time soon,” he replied, starting to loosen up.
“Ah, that’s nice. So you’ve been married quite some time then,” she said, broaching the subject Peter was dreading.
“I have. We’ve been married 15 years,” he said, looking down at his drink avoiding eye contact.
“Now that is remarkable!” she responded, clearly impressed. “She is one lucky lady,” Lisa added, her eyes searching for his.
When Peter caught her eyes, he saw their sparkle. He could see her cheeky smile through those eyes. He didn’t know how to respond to this. He didn’t think Diane was lucky. He didn’t even think that Diane thought she was lucky. He smiled awkwardly. Eventually he sighed and asked the questions he really wanted to know the answers to.

“How about you? What’s your situation?”
“I am single. I had one long term boyfriend after uni but that ended a couple of years ago and I’ve been single since,” she said very matter-of-factly.
“I find that hard to comprehend. I mean, look at you. A man must be mad to let you go,” Peter said, surprising himself with his new found confidence.
He obviously surprised Lisa too because she threw her head back in a girly giggle and then looked down at her coffee shyly.
“Well, it’s a real shame that you’re happily married Peter,” she said, her laugh trailing off but her smile turning mischievous.

Peter could not ignore it this time. She practically said it. She virtually admitted that she was attracted to him. She was basically saying that if he wasn’t married, that she would potentially pursue him. Peter didn’t know how to react to this statement. This was Peter’s moment. This was his real crossroad. He had to choose a path.

He could just walk away, stay loyal to his wife and son and never look back again. Probably another thing to add to his list of regrets. He could stay and tell her he was game, despite having a wife and child. Diane thought he was getting the tyre sorted out. That would have bought him a couple of hours. She would never have needed to know. One time, no regrets. Could he do this just once though? What if he wanted more of Lisa? What if he wanted more excitement in general?

Couldn’t he just tell Diane he had had enough? Couldn’t he tell her that he needed more? More out of life, more out of a woman, more out of himself? He had come so close some days, to just letting his feelings spill out into the room in the form of words. Then she would have done something or said something that made him feel guilty for even thinking along those lines, let alone speaking those thoughts out to her.

He could have had a full-blown affair, let Diane find out and let her kick him out. He would deserve it, but it would have been on her terms. And he would have been freed.

He looked at Lisa and took in her beauty. Her perfect curves. Her warm smile and her honey-coloured hair. He took a deep breath in and his nostrils were met with her wonderful smell. He wasn’t sure whether it was perfume, shampoo or just her natural, raw, female scent. Either way, it was swaying him dangerously in the wrong direction. Did he want them to become a casualty of divorce? He would join all those statistics of men who cheat on their wives. He imagined the look on Diane’s face when she discovered his betrayal. He imagined all the things she would say that would add to the guilt that would in fact already be eating away at him. But at least it would be honest. At least it would set him free. Or would it? Did he really want to leave the security and the familiarity of his marriage or did he just like the thought of the thrill this might bring? Diane annoyed him often but did he actually dislike her?

After a long silence, Peter was woken from his daydream by Lisa’s voice.
“Peter? Are you ok? Peter? Earth to Peter?” she almost shouted with concern written in her face and eyes.
Peter shook his head quickly, smiled and said, “oh sorry Lisa. I was miles away.”
“Yeah, I could tell,” she said, with some annoyance.
“Um, I just need to pop to the toilet if that’s ok. I won’t be a minute,” Peter said standing up. In the bathroom, Peter splashed cold water on his face like they do in movies when they were worried or confused. He thought carefully about his next step. The step that could change everything forever.

He thought about when he first met Diane in London when they were both studying for their degrees. He met her at the British Library. From the way her jaw had dropped to the floor as she slowly wandered around, Peter had known it was her first time there and she was lost.  He remembered how he had checked his watch to work out whether he had time before his next lecture to help this girl. She was beautiful and unique. She was blatantly not from London and he had been curious. He had decided to go for it and now they were married and he was contemplating having an affair. She had been and still was beautiful. She was her own woman and never let anyone influence her if she wasn’t interested. They used to talk and laugh and make love for hours together. Peter closed his eyes and dug deep to try and remember how it used to feel to be with Diane.

As Peter approached their table, Lisa was looking down at her phone. When he got closer, she looked up, smiled and put her phone away.
As he sat down uncomfortably, Lisa, her eyes still on him slowly said, “So, I’m done for the day and I was going to get some dinner. Do you want to join me?”
“Ah, I’m afraid I’ve just picked up some dinner,” he said, as if he’d found the perfect excuse.
“Oh ok, well, how about a drink? My hotel is just round the corner and the mini bar looks great,” she said, tempting him with her smile.
Peter took a moment to just make sure that he was making the right decision.
“I also really need to get out of these clothes,” she added quietly.
Peter closed his eyes and pictured Diane and William’s faces.

*Part 4 coming soon!*